Title: Never steal the monies
Pairing: Kakuhidan (KakuzuxHidan)
Rating: Hmm around 14+ just for a few minor adult themes
Genre: Romance/(attempted)humour
Disclaimer: All charries belong to Kishimoto
Inspiration/picture © to F-W~Bourdillon
Warning: Yaoi
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Kakuzu was out on a mission.

Hidan was stuck in the inn, bored, bored, bored!

A heavily over dramatic sigh heaved itself from the pale man’s lips as he lay back on the bed, the sheets rumpled and messy while his purple hued eyes stared up carelessly at the bland white ceiling.

To put it bluntly, he was bored.

He didn’t even know why he was meant to stay here! What was it that stupid money-whore had said?
He furrowed his brow as he tried to remember.

”No you have to keep your bloody ass here Hidan, I don’t want your complete and utter awesomeness distracting me and my money-grubbing ways”

….ok, something along those lines…kinda. By this time however, a small smile of amusement had worked itself onto Hidan’s lips, yeah, if only Kakuzu talked to him like that, instead of the usual attitude.

Bloody miser.

The male clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth in an absent minded manner before he grunted as he pushed himself into a sitting position, legs spread as he frowned again, looking boredly around the room.

Even the room was dull and boring, with plain white walls, an old rickety desk and chair and chest of drawers. A picture of a valley or something hung worn and fading on the wall and the curtains once a vibrant green were now a murky moss colour, not at all pleasant.

The male who sat in only his boxers rolled his eyes, right, if Kakuzu’s tight fisted ways caused Hidan his boredom, then Kakuzu’s money could fund his amusement. It was, after all his birthday for Jashin’s sake! And although Hidan admittedly didn’t usually make a big deal out of it, it didn’t mean that he wanted to be stuck here all bloody day doing sod all!

The man shimmied off the bed, padding about and collecting his few items of clothing, pulling on his usual dark blue pants and dawning his cloak, and picked up the silver necklace resting on the bedside table, murmuring something to the symbol he squeezed it gently before slipping the rosary over his head where it hung against his chest, the cool metal making him shiver and smirk,

So once dressed, the male began to root around the room, trying to find the male’s ever elusive wallet.

“Don’t tell me the asshole took it with him!” the zealot whined after a good twenty minutes of searching, he looked glumly out the window, it was warm and sunny and Hidan didn’t want to stay cooped up in the room, but he didn’t want to just wander around looking like an utter wanker by meandering around enjoying the weather. Who did that, seriously?!

“ATLAST!” with a whoop of triumph the man produced the wallet, grinning broadly. “Who would have thought he’d keep it in his portable safe” he mused, shaking his head as he gleefully meandered to the door reluctantly knowing he had to leave his scythe, Kakuzu would through a fit, well, an even bigger fit about the scythe if he caught Hidan stealing his money, his mind already thinking of the many things he could do with the money however.

…..Ah screw it, grabbing his scythe, the zealot left the room, intent on finding very many devious things to do on his birthday with the man’s cash.

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“Hidan better bloody appreciate this” the words spoken in a slightly grudging grumble, he hadn’t forgotten the Jashinist’s birthday, not had he forgotten to get him a present, thus producing the black, leather bound diar- er, journal he currently held in his hand. The cover was shiny and cool to the touch.

On the front, a large silver ‘H’ embossed the front, bold and elegant and on the back, was a silver symbol of Jashin, just to keep the zealot happy. Hell, he’d even bought the guy some dango, so he’d better bloody appreciate his birthday present.

The male now just had to ‘return’ from his mission, he knew Hidan would probably be pissed, having forbid him coming along with him, but he knew Hidan wasn’t a complete idiot and would start questioning his reason for being here. He couldn’t exactly say he was buying his birthday present now could he?

Tucking the dango and journal into the bag separately so not to get the Journal messy with dango, he began heading back up the busy street, hot in his heavy, dark cloak and the mask which clung uncomfortably to his firm jaw line, but he didn’t shift it, instead he headed back to the inn which was at the other end of the village, no more than a thirty minute walk if these crowds cleared up.

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Meanwhile, a certain Jashinist was having a ball with his spending spree, now he realised why women loved it so much. Sure, he didn’t give a hoot about money, but he now understood why Kakuzu saved it, by why the hell didn’t he save it?

Isn’t money better off being spent than hoarded up gathering dust and wrinkles? He snorted. “If I bring that up it’ll be Sasori and Deidara version two” he mused with an air of lofty amusement as his tongue lapped out at his ice-cream, consuming the tasty cold treat with every swipe of his tongue on the soft creamy surface. He was just nibbling the base of the cone as he came back to the hotel room.

He twirled the key around his finger, grinning broadly as he pushed the key in the lock and frowned as he pushed the unlocked door open. He was sure he’d locked it….

That could not. Be good.

Hidan walked in none the less, seeing Kakuzu on the bed, his mask off and cloak draped on the back of the chair, the stringy strands of his hair was wet and plastered to his head from sweat and he was breathing deeply, it was definitely a hot day.

Vivid green irises shot over to Hidan as the man entered a cocky smirk on his lips as if he’d done nothing wrong, Kakuzu noted the fact that Hidan was eating the last of an ice-cream and had a bag in hand, a bag with the logo of a…clothes shop? And His scythe (which he noted shouldn’t have even been with him) Looked unusually clean…

Kakuzu’s eyes widened, was that HIS wallet?

Hidan stopped at Kakuzu’s expression of what seemed a mix between shock, disbelief and a small dash of livid as well.

His eyes darted to Hidan’s bag, probably a good 22,193.7 yen he then looked to the deadly scythe blades which seemed to glimmer with utter importance, and seemed to have a very professional sheen, another 15,132.1 yen. And the ice-cream? That done it!

“Hidan!” Violet eyes widened and he yelped as Kakuzu lunged for him, unable to make it out the way fast enough he was roughly grabbed and hauled to the man sitting on the edge of the bed, finding his legs trapped beneath Kakuzu’s and he tumbled over the man’s knee. His hands flat on the floor to stop his face hitting it. Hidan yelped as he felt cool air brush his now exposed behind as he writhered on realising Kakuzu had pulled his trousers down.

“Hidan” came the ferocious warning growl.

“What the FUCK Kakuzu, I didn’t DO anything!” the male yelled furiously, unable to believe he was being treated like a naughty little child. “Now let me go-OW YOU MOTHER FUCKER!” The sound of skin on skin contact echoed under Hidan’s yell, the male squirming more fiercely as his ass stung. A bright tint of pink forming on the male’s pale rear.

“Want to try that again? Did you take my money?” he asked, a bit more calmly, unable to help but smirk down at the male who glared up at him furiously.

“No I didn’t take you’re Jashin-damned mo-NYAH!” the male was cut off again with a sharp spank,

“Ok ok I took the money!” The male whined. “OW JASHIN-DAMNIT!”

The next few minutes the air was filled with an array of sound of Kakuzu’s hand making repeated contact with Hidan’s rear, the man occasionally yelping and jolting in the other’s lap, his pale rear red. The ferocious storm of spanking more to make Kakuzu feel better after Hidan admitted to stealing and spending his money.

“What…have we…learned?” the man grunted in between slaps and howls from Hidan.

He got a whimper in response, one last sharp slap made Hidan give a small cry, squirming fiercely, rear wiggling bright and hot quite temptingly in front of Kakuzu, but he looked at Hidan who refused to make eye contact.

“Don’t…do it” he panted.

“Good boy”

Hidan grimaced as he was allowed to slump to the floor, Kakuzu stood and stepped over him and wandered into the bathroom, Hidan waiting until he heard the door click until an insane grin spread wildly across his lips, watering violet eyes glistened and silver hair a tousled mess.

“Fuck, I gotta steal his money more often!”